Much to the dismay of my enemies, I am still alive and kicking (quite hard , might I add)
After the G20 ripped through our great city and took the most sincere innocence that this once great city possessed, I have been weeping dearly, locked deep within my mansion inside my bedroom. My only communication with the outside world until this point has been with Marilyn through our complex intercom system that is networked throughout all 47 rooms in my North York home.
Marilyn’s own communication to me eventually grew to a series of predetermined mumbles and groans as she became weak from me being locked in my room; She is normally used to me feeding her a regiment of pre-chewed bananas and thick laxative shakes to clear out her infected colon and prevent any further infection.
Unfortunately I took it upon myself to seclude myself after the atrocities committed by anarchists and scum alike.
Not to mention Rob Ford, the jolly mayoral candidate standing his ground and voting a vehement “NO” to the city council’s resolution to commend our brave police officers.
“Why was it important to vote no?” , you might ask Mr. Ford.
“Because I think that the police did a terrible job”, Ford responded during media questions, in his signature weasel voice.
Well done, Robbie.
Marilyn’s colon has been exuding blood so I am off to the hospital to have her condition investigated further. I should not have left her alone, however I felt I had a higher calling of late.